remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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