Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
