walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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