It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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