is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
