Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
