Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i think i have two assholes
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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