I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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