All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Hippo gnu deer
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Terrible idea I love it
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
