worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
