You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
So squirting runs in the family.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
