That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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