I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
