The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
