he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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