im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
