Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
