I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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