Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
