mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
