guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Is it penis luge time yet?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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