Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
you never un-have a 4some
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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