Tell her she can't have a vagina
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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