We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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