this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
