I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
