i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
