Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize