I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
