Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
