If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize