He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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