Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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