Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
