trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
