Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
