this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
