I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
