is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
