you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
