i just google imaged poop.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize