she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
