so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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