we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
