I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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