so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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