my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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