Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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