She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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