and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
