have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
