I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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