She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
