Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
