I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
it glows. i had to have it.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
