I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
