I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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