Your dad touched me again.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
