is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
