ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
