Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
