just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
