What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
