I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize
