I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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