I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
