Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
